Dear Nana,

Sorry I haven't written before this semester, but there's been so much going on, I just haven't had a chance. I'll try to tell you about everything, but I'm sure I'll miss something-- of course, for a change, I'm writing something that isn't going to be graded (or even judged, you being you), so what dif does it really make?

I'll try to tackle things in chronological order, beginning with the humongous fight I had with your daughter and son-in-law when they delivered me here a month ago. I guess it was easy to avoid the unpleasant issues all summer but when Maud gave me a big hug and kiss in greeting, they flipped out. I'm assuming that you already know that I've been not-invited home for Thanksgiving and that's why you asked me to bring Maudie to you. Thank you!!!!! We'll be there!!!

The whole gang is back. At first, they assigned some poor, lone freshman girl to the only non-us room on the hall, but it took her about three days to get moved to the girls-only dorm-- I think Dennis scared her when he performed his "tribal naked pee-in-the-sink ritual" while she was blow drying her hair for her big date.

Now, the big news... it's A COMPLETE AND TOTAL SECRET!!!! Our first night back we were all in Alice's room smoking this that and the other thing, when we heard an eerie, high-pitched noise. Dennis claimed it was his great-great-great (and then some more greats) grandfather Chief Shitting Bull wailing over the desecration of the sacred burial ground that Sayers Hall is built on. Karen claimed it was the audible resonance of her heartstrings going "zing" at the thought of her Drama Professor. Charlotte and Maud insisted it must be the hashish, cuz they were smoking pot and all they heard was a buzz. Cliff pancked that it was sirens and that the law was coming to take him away for... he never told us what. I insisted that it sounded just like a baby and I WAS RIGHT! A tiny baby girl in a basket in the utility closet with another basket full of baby stuff and a note asking us to take care of the kid. So we did. And we are.

She's beautiful and terrific and bringing out the best in all of us. Even Cliff is being responsible! And Karen turned down a date from a tenured professor of some social science to take her for her booster shots the other day. We had a bitch of a time agreeing on a name, but the concensus finally was on ANAIS GRACE. Alice figured out that the only fair way to decide who gets to take the baby home (or wherever) for vacations was to have a drawing, so you may even get to meet our beautiful Anais if Maud or I win the "First Anais For a Holiday Lottery"!

What else? Classes are pretty boring, but the Radical Feminist Group is doing good things and I hope to have a bra-burning organized before mid-terms. I guess that's it for now. Thanks for being there for me. I love you.


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